Weight Stigma Awareness Week

I recently read this article, and it opened up a flood of emotions within me. Having been overweight--even morbidly obese--for a great deal of my life, I have experienced the prejudice of others. I know what it's like to have people stare at you, especially when you are eating (even if it's something healthy!). I've heard the judgmental comments as I walk past and I've seen the look in people's faces sometimes when they met me for the first time and realized how big I was. I've read the comments online--even on this very article I linked to above--where people trash those who are overweight and call them out for "just being lazy." Oftentimes, nothing could be further from the truth.

Growing up, I tried so many different ways to lose weight--Atkins, Weight Watchers, Richard Simmons, South Beach, etc. On almost all of them, I would lose 5-10 pounds and then not lose a thing after that. I spent a good part of my high school career doing sports (volleyball and swimming), yet I still weighed over 300 pounds when I graduated. I walked or biked to my job my freshman year of college--which was around two miles away from my freshman dorm--and even joined a gym for my second and third year, during which I was never able to get below 270 lbs. And I really did try to eat better! The only real success I had was when I lived in Brazil for 18 months, when I walked virtually all day long in the blazing Brazilian sun and my diet was limited to rice, beans, salad, and fruit (with occasional exceptions). Even then, I bottomed out at 230.

When I got home from Brazil, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, which I'm sure explained a lot of the reasons why I never was able to lose much weight. Then I got married and had a baby, which really affected my body. After giving birth, I sadly watched the scale creep up, up, and up, finally reaching 437 lbs. I had little time to exercise on top of my two jobs and family life, so I tried to limit my food intake. Then I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and struggled to treat it with medication, during which time I was supposed to be very careful about exercising so as not to overwork my heart. I just couldn't win. I truly believe that the surgery that I had was the best and most effective way for me to lose the weight that I know was cutting my life short.

The thing is, addiction to food is real. Some people flippantly compare overweight people to drug addicts, saying we shouldn't be sympathetic to either of them because all they need to do is stop consuming what is hurting them. Well, I don't think that's a fair comparison. Drug addicts? They don't need drugs to survive. They may feel like they do, but they don't. Those who are addicted to food? You can't just stop eating. You need to eat to survive. And therein lies the difficulty.

I know someone who ate healthily and exercised regularly for six months and lost less than 10 pounds. She was anything but lazy during that time, but her body just didn't want to give up the weight. Yet people keep telling those who are overweight to get off their duffs and go exercise. Oh, yeah? Well, let's see YOU go run five miles while carrying an extra 150 pounds on your body! It's not so easy! Shows like Biggest Loser are fun and all, but they are so misleading sometimes...it is nowhere near possible for the average person to put in the time required to lose weight that quickly. It's a full-time job for people on that show, AND they're getting compensated accordingly. Not so when you need to lose weight but you also have a family to support, bills to pay, children that need attention, and so on.

I'm rambling now. Basically, I just wanted to raise awareness of the current prejudice in our society towards people who are overweight, and I would hope that we can all try to be a little bit more understanding and eager to help. Just please, watch your comments and be careful how you treat people who struggle with losing weight. You'll never understand unless you've been there.

Another Perk

Today, I discovered one of my favorite things about weight loss (besides all the obvious ones, like better health and a longer life): the looks I get from people I haven't seen in awhile.

I used my lunch break to do a quick work-out with my sister at the university gym, and I ran into a former co-worker of mine. I don't think I've seen him since...April? May? One of those. Anyway, the look on his face said it all. He was absolutely floored. "How much have you LOST?" "192 lbs as of last night!" "WHAT?!? That's amazing! I didn't even recognize you at first!"

Nothing like a great confidence booster before you go work out.

8 Months Out

It's only been eight months since surgery--technically almost nine since I started that 3-week liquid diet, but still--and yet sometimes I hardly recognize myself. I used my sister's Wii Fit tonight to weigh myself (our scale is broken), and I'm just over 244 pounds. It's been over six years since I've been this small, and I was only there for a short while. This time, I'm hoping to stay here for a good long while.

I realized the other day that I have such a different relationship with food now. I mean, I used to think all the time about what I was going to have for the next meal--and while I still have to plan ahead for meals, it's not the same anymore. I don't live to eat; I eat to live. Sure, sometimes I wish I could go and splurge on a buffet somewhere, but I can't and I've learned to live with that. I'd rather feel the way I do now anyway.

Recollections...

 Top left: March 19, 2010

Top right: September 20, 2010

Bottom left: April 6, 2011

Bottom right: August 30, 2011 

(wearing the same shirt as April 6th picture)

Oh, yeah, it feels good.