I'm home!!!!!

I never want to spend that long in a hospital again. I finally was discharged today after just over a week of IVs in my neck (yeah, in my neck), incessant beeps from random alarms, oxygen assistance, gowns and slipper socks that never stayed on my feet, an adjustable bed that was actually quite comfortable but that I really wished didn't have a guard at the bottom because my feet kept getting jammed up against it (oh, the curses of being six feet tall), compression thingies on my legs that felt like I was chained to the bed, having difficulties getting to the bathroom on time because I was connected to so many cords, having my monthly visitor during the entire thing...oh, yeah, I am so glad to be home from the hospital.

Technically, my secondary surgery was 8 days ago now, but since I wasn't approved to start drinking and eating until Monday, I'm now on Day 3 of the post-op diet, which means skim milk, cream of wheat, cottage cheese, yogurt, and strained soups (cream of chicken and tomato). I'll be on that until Saturday, at which point I can start re-introducing all the foods I was eating before this wonderful event occurred last week.

Did I mention I am SO HAPPY to no longer be in the hospital? Because I am.

Thank you to all of you for your support, words of encouragement, and most especially, for your positive thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. I've been told I came dangerously close to being deathly ill there, and it's lucky they caught the problem and were able to fix it when they did. I'm recommitting myself to following my diet plan and taking it easy--my mom is here this time around to help with my recovery (she just got here yesterday), and she plans to make sure I don't try to do too much too soon--and I'm sure I'll recover with the Lord's help. I love you all!

Four weeks later...

First off, a picture for you. The date of this picture is February 19th, 2011.  

 

What, you say? Wasn't your surgery on JANUARY 19th, not February 19th? Why, yes you would be correct. You would also be correct if you then followed basic logic to realize that I am, in fact, in the hospital once again, this time for even longer. Here's why.

Monday, Valentine's Day, was great. My husband and I had a nice, quiet evening together watching a movie and exchanging a few simple gifts. I felt great physically that day, like I was finally overcoming the ordeal of surgery.

Then around 5am Tuesday morning, PAIN. A lot of it. It felt like someone had shoved a huge ball of gas just underneath the left side of my ribcage and it was trying to break free. I just lay there and moaned, cried out, writhed in pain. It hurt! I woke C up and had him help me down the hallway to the bathroom, where I felt release would come. It didn't. C went back to bed, and I kept sitting on the pot, trying in vain to find some relief. When it didn't come, I ventured back towards the bedroom.

I didn't make it.

I woke up just outside our bedroom door on the floor, C frantically calling my name and rubbing my side. I was so confused...did I fall out of bed? I asked. "No...you're still in the hallway, love." "Oh. So I passed out?" Apparently so! I crawled over to bed, one of the greatest feats of strength I have ever done, and heaved myself back onto the pillowtop, which usually brings so much comfort. I managed to keep my cries to a minimum so C could get some sleep before going to work.

The next morning, he hurriedly got ready for work while I made calls to work..."Um, yeah, last night was a bad night and I'm not going to make it in today..." C was so hesitant about leaving me, but somebody had to work that day! While he was gone, I just lay there in bed. I couldn't even sit up, didn't bother turning on the TV, didn't feel like I needed a book to read, just...lay there. And hurt.

He checked on me during his lunch break and brought home Gas-X, which did little to relieve anything. A man from our church came by and joined my husband in giving me a priesthood blessing, in which I was promised I would be made whole. Back to bed I went, leaving Cody to sleep on the couch because any jostling of the bed just hurt too much.

Wednesday morning, I woke up and called Ginny (the nurse from the UV Surgical Weight Loss Program). Asked her what to do--she said she'd talk to my surgeon and call me back. Next thing I know, we're on our way to the hospital to get a CT scan. It was sooo hard to walk around, get in and out of cars, etc--especially since I was moving on no practically no food or water since Monday night, because it had been practically impossible to force myself to swallow anything. News came from the CT scan...not so good. There was a perforation, a small little hole below one of the staple lines on my small intestine. The doctors said they'd never seen this happen so late, four weeks after surgery. It's incredibly rare.

This meant I soon found myself checking in for surgery. Again. Instead of having my four-week check-up, I was going through pre-op again (except I did find out I was down to 365, woot woot!). They fixed the leak and now I'm in the hospital recuperating. Again.

The days since then have been hard for different reasons. One, because I arrived in such a state of dehydration and almost a state of kidney failure that I was kinda touch-and-go there for awhile. My blood pressure was dangerously low that entire first night, I was on constant oxygen, and they even kept me in the ICU for the first two nights so I would have more nurse attention. I was ordered to not try to get out of bed until at least Friday. I'm not supposed to eat or drink anything until MAYBE Monday, with possible discharge from the hospital itself on Wednesday (meaning a week-long stay).

Another reason it's been hard is just the emotional aspect of it. I've already been through this! I've already done the 3-4 week diet. I've already had to go through the "Ouch, my stomach hurts so much, can you pick this up off the floor for me, I need a pillow to cover my abdomen all the time" stages. And now I have to do it again.

But as hard as it has been, and as much as I have been upset about all of this, you know what? That won't change anything. I can be mad and bitter about having to recover again, or I can just take it in stride and even maybe look at it positively--hey, maybe I'll lose more weight this way, huh? ;) I'm really okay, but it has definitely been an ordeal.

But hey, if anyone out there wants to come visit me at UVRMC, I'm on the sixth floor, room 687. I love visitors! :) And I love all your words of support! I'm so humbled and grateful to have such good friends!

Slowly returning to "normal"

I can't believe it's been over two weeks since I last posted. I would say it's because I've been super busy, but that's really not the case because I'm nowhere near what I used to do before the surgery. I'll just blame it on the recovery. Yeah, that's it.

So, how am I doing? My usual answer is "I'm okay." I'm not 100%, but neither am I the slow-moving, I-only-get-up-to-go-to-the-bathroom-or-take-a-walk person I was two weeks ago. I can walk with relative ease, I can sit almost anywhere, I can sleep on my stomach again (this is MAJOR...I suffered from lack of sleep for awhile there because I just can't sleep well on my back), and I can pick stuff up from off the floor. This is all very exciting stuff, people. I just never realized how much I use my abdominal muscles for, well, everything--reaching for something, stretching, even for tipping my head back to rinse my hair in the shower (this might be more because I'm tall, so I have to tip my head back more than the average person). I'm not ready to do crunches or anything yet, but I'm better.

Eating is so different, and I'm still adjusting to the fact that it will never be the same again. The main things I eat these days are canned chicken, carrots, green beans, refried beans, yogurt (nonfat/low sugar), cottage cheese, deli meat, string cheese, and various other cheeses (mozzarella, colby jack, etc). I'm supposed to stick to 70% protein and 30% vegetable, but right now my diet is still limited because my stomach is still healing. Around 4-6 weeks, my options should broaden to almost any kind of protein--meat, seafood, cheese, dairy, etc, most vegetables (they say celery can be too fibrous for the stomach, as well as corn and maybe peas), soups (without the broth), and some fruits (though fruit should be used sparingly because of its natural sugars).

Meals are still 2 oz in volume, which equals about 4 tablespoons, and that fills me up. Over time, that will increase, but I think it'll stay at 2 oz until around 12 weeks. Oh, and it's supposed to take me 20-30 minutes to eat those 4 tbsp. You'd think it would be hard to make it last that long, but if I eat too quickly, I get sick, so I stretch it out as long as possible. If I haven't finished after 30 minutes, then I either throw the rest out or save it for later (usually the former, since the amount left over is so little).

I'm slowly returning to work. This past week, I managed to work about 5-6 hours a day--I'd go in around 9 or 9:30, work for about three hours, then go lay down in my car for 45 minutes or so, then work another 2-3 hours before I went home. We'll see if I can get up to full-time hours this week.

My clothes are definitely feeling looser--I should post a picture. My winter coat used to be a struggle to close, and now I can button it with ease. My pants aren't falling off yet, thank goodness, but I have a lot more room in the legs now. And it's weird to not have some of my shirts feel tight against my stomach. My husband says my double chin is almost gone, which is fine with me!

I meet with the surgeon again on Wednesday, my 4-week check-up, to weigh in and make sure everything is going well. I'll be sure to post again with the new updates!